Since I started my blog, I developed a liking for looking through various ‘dating’ blogs on the site. There is a lot of enjoyable material out there. I like reading blogs written by both girls and guys. In the guys’ blogs, I like reading about their dating experiences from their perspective, and in the girls’, their perspectives are easy to empathize with (“Yes, I’ve been there.”)
However, I discovered an unsettling amount of blogs written by young guys that are…how do I put it…just very bitter! A lot of bloggers have trouble getting dates. However, these guys take it to a whole new level. They are so frustrated that they are legitimately angry at girls for not giving them attention. I have read rants from “Why are attractive women such bitches??” to “Girls nowadays are so selfish that they think it’s OK to not appreciate men.” (What?) And there are A LOT of bloggers claiming that girls don’t like “nice guys” like them. Yep – this topic has made a reappearance!
I won’t call anyone out in this post, but reading these types of comments is very unsettling. I understand that these bloggers are a small sample size – and maybe I’m extrapolating too much – but I’ve read these comments on so many blogs that it makes me wonder what young guys today are thinking??
There is a whole book, and a film based on that book, called He’s Just Not That Into You dedicated to educating young women on how to accept it when a guy they like does not reciprocate their feelings. However, it seems that several guys have not received this same healthy education. When they fail to get a date from a girl they like, they seethe with anger. They go from liking her to saying mean, disrespectful things about her. Now, I understand that when getting over your crush, it helps to focus on their flaws. But there is a difference between focusing on their personal flaws to completely saying dehumanizing things about women and the men they date. One guy wrote that he hoped that the attractive girls he knew all grew up to become fat and ugly. Seriously? That’s mature. Ironically, this makes them seem nothing like a person I would want to date. Guys, writing these types of blogs will NOT help you get girls.
Here are some things I think these bloggers need to understand:
Not reciprocating your feelings is not a crime. No girl is obligated to like you back. If a girl does not like you back, that in itself does not make her a terrible person.
There are several reasons why she may not be into you. She is not attracted to you; she doesn’t feel any chemistry or compatibility; she likes someone else; she just went through a break-up; she just plain doesn’t like you. These are the same reasons you might have for not liking certain girls.
I know it hurts and it sucks when she’s not into you, but you just have to accept it and move on.
When I’ve been rejected by guys, I felt very disappointed and upset. I do think these guys missed out on something good. However, I don’t wish for their lives to be ruined. When a girl gets rejected by a dude, she feels defeated and mopes, and is usually prompted by her friends to move on and get over the guy. However, for a lot of guys, not reciprocating their interest is unacceptable. Why??
I’m not saying that girls are always well-behaved. But this particular imbalance of attitudes towards rejection is something I couldn’t help but notice. From the blogs I read, guys find rejection more unacceptable than girls. I think the sooner these guys learn to move on, the happier they will be.