I probably couldn’t be a more stereotypical now-single person, but one of my favorite ways to spend a Friday night is getting dressed up and going bar hopping with my galpals. (I promise I will never use that word again.)
The fun is distributed thus: 40% alcoholic buzz, 10% chitchatting with my friends, and 50% exchanging flirtatious banter with random cute dudes. Either they have approached me or I have approached them. For the record, I have never met any of my past boyfriends at a bar (although sometimes I tried.) However, I thought I would poke a little fun at some of my past encounters.
1. The guy who tries way too hard to be smooth.
He is consciously leaning back and sporting a too-forced “confident grin.” He never lets himself get too excited and speaks in a very affected manner, calling me “babe” and “sweetheart”. Don’t get me wrong, he seems really nice, but it doesn’t hurt to loosen up!
2. The very agreeable guy.
Unlike #1, this guy couldn’t make it more obvious – he really wants to get into my pants. As I ramble on, he is enthusiastically nodding and “Yeah!”-ing to everything I say. I’m 100% sure that if I said “Oompa Loompa’s are the most stylish creatures in fashion!”, he would agree in a heartbeat.
3. The guy who is crazy about you for the entire night and says he will “call you when he gets back”…but you never hear from him again.
Why do you guys always do this??? Well, I guess it’s for the better. He might have been married/taken. *shudder*
4. The pervert.
Excuse you, guy-I’ve-never-seen-before, did I give you permission to grab my ass?
5. The bartender.
I don’t know why, but bartenders are some of the coolest people I get to meet during the week. This applies to both men and women, but if he is a cute male, that is a bonus in my book. Too bad that sometimes I have to share his attention with other customers.