There is a serious issue that has been pressing me as of late. It is definitely a societal issue that needs to be addressed. Therefore, I will just come right out and say it. As someone who is of the bushy, frizzy-haired variety, I notice that straight-haired people don’t realize how damned privileged they are. Here is my list of grievances:
1.) The most obvious aspect: Straight hair is considered the norm and the default. It is the featured texture in every advertisement, TV show, film, etc. The other day I Googled “hair cuts for people with wavy hair” and just got a bunch of images of women who didn’t actually have wavy/curly hair, but of women with straight hair that was styled into waves.
2.) Straight-haired people get to save a significant amount of time, money, and effort. Being simultaneously voluminous and confused as to what shape it wants to assume (it is neither wavy nor curly, but kind of both), my hair – no matter how many times I brush it – looks naturally messy. I do everything in my power to tame it: leave-in conditioners, serums, special shampoo and conditioner brands with features like “moisturizing, keratin-enhanced, sleek-and-shine properties”; hair dryers, the most recent cutting-edge iron-straightener technology, etc. Yet, I still get asked every now and then whether I ever brush my hair. Every time I hear a straight-haired beeyotch claim that her hair is “frizzy this morning” because she didn’t have time to blow-dry it, I send mental voodoo curses her way.
3.) For the occasional formal event, conference, or job interview, I have to take 3 hours out of my day to make a hair salon appointment and enjoy the pain of the hairdresser aggressively tugging on my hair, getting my scalp burned, and subsequently getting charged extra for the excess products and time used to force my hair to defy its natural tendencies. And this is to just look acceptably decent.
4.) My hair is considered unprofessional.
5.) Wondering if my significant other will still love me in spite of my hair.
6.) I can never wear my hair down (for the reasons stated above.) It is always tied back or plaited. Otherwise, it will look like I got electrocuted.
7.) I suddenly become hydrophobic, and water/rain is seen as the enemy. There is nothing worse than going through an experience like #3 and walking outside to be greeted by a monsoon rainfall. And I have to be veeery careful in the bath/shower after doing my hair because the tiniest drop of moisture will flush my appointment money down the toilet.
8.) My hair is the butt of a lot of jokes.