For the Clueless Guys

Something I often hear about, and from, guys is that men are “clueless” and “oblivious” to signals that a girl is interested in them.  I understand that the realm of nonverbal communication and differences in personalities is very nebulous.  However, this statement got me thinking about how I act, or have acted, around guys I’m crushing on.  I can definitely say that I act VERY differently around guys I like vs. guys I don’t have a crush on.  I came up with three basic behaviors I tend to do only around guys I’m interested in.  I should make a caveat that girls do vary across the spectrum of shy and outgoing, and I fall into the former sphere.  This means that I tend to not be as forward or direct as my more outgoing counterparts, and usually try to be coy about things.  This is why for me, nonverbal cues, if you happen to pick up on them, are very telling.

1.)  I touch my hair.

This is probably the most obvious indicator, and practiced by many other women as well.  In general, I have a lot of nervous energy when talking to my crush, and use the fidgety energy to twirl/flip/run my fingers through my hair.  I never randomly touch my hair when talking to anyone else.

2. I try to bring attention to my lips.

This sounds weird, but it’s something I do semi-unconsciously.  I will protrude them into a semi-pout (it’s supposed to look sexy, I swear!), lick them, or bite my lower lip.  Again, this is just another outlet for nervous sexual energy, indicating that my lips really want to kiss your lips.  Just like in the last point, my lips are the last thing I care about when talking to anyone else.  When talking to my crush, I suddenly become aware of them.

3. I tilt my head to the right whilst trying to flash my cutest/most enthusiastic smile.

The head tilt, usually coupled with a smile, is another uber-obvious signal that a woman is trying her darndest to unleash her cute charms onto you.  So pay attention, boys!  Her smile is so sincere that her eyes crinkle and her cheekbones look like they are going to pop out.  When speaking to mere mortals, my head usually remains in its default position – upright.  However, when speaking to the man of my dreams, I look kind of drunk.  That should make things clear.

So there you have three tell-tale nonverbal signs that I (as well as some other girls) have the hots for you.  And then there are the obvious factors like she seems like she enjoys being around you, is reciprocating conversation you, laughing at your jokes (whether or not they are actually good), etc. etc.

What do you think, ladies?  And for the fellas, I hope this has helped you somewhat!

About emma

My name is Emma, and this is another blog where you will encounter my ramblings and musings about various things.
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7 Responses to For the Clueless Guys

  1. This is what I imagine most women are doing when they read my blog posts Emma…

  2. stepherz08 says:

    Okay, I am sooo into this blog post, because let’s face it boys can be super oblivious at times. I totally agree with everything you have said so far, and as a fellow shy flirter I can vouch that all those techniques seem very obvious to ME (to boys not so much).

    If I were to add to your list, I would definitely say
    1) Staring and being aware of where they are in a room. I find when I walk into a room, I sort of keep track of where my crush is. Not anything too intense, but maybe like an awareness of which side of the room he decides to grace with his impeccable charm. The staring is because sometimes I can’t help but look.

    2) Also the point you made about bringing attention to your lips, I find myself doing that a lot. It normally manifests itself in me taking a sip of water or biting my lip, but it happens so naturally I never have time to stop myself from giving it away (which doesn’t matter because he’d still be clueless).

    3) Mirroring. I find myself unconsciously mirroring someone if I’m into them.

    Okay I feel I have rambled my fair share, great post! I really enjoyed it and I could only hope that somewhere out there is a male equivalent to it.

    • emma says:

      Thank you! And you are so right about #1! I always do that. But I’m afraid that if my crush notices, he’ll get freaked out because I’m kind of stalking him. But let’s face it, we’re all (girls and guys) stalkerish and stare-ish when it comes to people we like. It’s just hard finding out whether the attraction is mutual.

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