Sometimes, it is predictable that certain traits and behaviors will earn you widespread hatred: e.g. calling someone a “stupidface”, stealing, cheating, double-dipping, sneezing in the library, etc. However, sometimes, you might notice that a lot of people seem hostile towards you, even if you have done none of these things. You have to start speculating why, what you may have done unintentionally that made you the object of scorn and dislike. Well, over my several years of life experience, I noticed that that there are more subtle ways one can become hated. Here is a list of some deplorable things I have seen other people do that made them the subject of widespread resentment.
1. Being attractive.
People love to hate attractive people. This is because they subscribe to a rule of thumb that if one happens to be attractive, their good looks have to be balanced out by every bad personality trait in the book. Attractive people are assumed to be dumb, mean, stuck-up, high maintenance, and lazy – and that they have only ever achieved anything by coasting on their looks. Any flaws they do have, and any mistake they ever make, is completely unforgivable.
2. Being smart/hard-working/ambitious.
Do you have a 4.0 GPA and want to become a scientist? If so, keep that information to yourself. Nothing ticks off your average classmate more than when they see you get the honor roll and actually care about learning. Every time they see you working hard towards your goals, it keeps reminding them that they are, well, average, and they might want to bring you down because of it.
3. Being pretty AND smart.
Heaven help you! Some people are deathly allergic to awesomeness. On the bright side, this is where you find out who your real friends are.
You know what is worse than saying something totally rude and obnoxious? Saying nothing at all. I learned this from personal experience. People resent people who are not outgoing, for some strange reason. They automatically assume the worst of them – that they are mean, snobbish misanthropes. People who love being at the center of attention cannot understand why you aren’t paying them any. Being of a socially awkward nature whose perception of life is anything but normal, I always chose to keep to myself. This only resulted in people harassing me with comments like, “Why are you so quiet???”, “You should talk more/open up/put yourself out there/come out of your shell!” Because I am a people pleaser, I have obliged these people on many occasions, only to have people immediately weirded out by what I said. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t!
5. Standing up for yourself.
Did someone try to take advantage of you and you didn’t let them? Did you politely but firmly disagree with someone? Did you JUST exhibit assertive behavior??? Congratulations, you are not a doormat, and some people like you less because of it.
6. Being happy.
Are you secure and confident? Are you not afraid to go after what you want? Do you have a great job, healthy marriage, and a backyard with a white picket fence? Did you just accomplish something cool, like publishing a book or visiting Paris? Oooh, you’re going to get on some people’s nerves!
7. Dating whomever you want.
For some blasted reason, there are a lot of irrelevant people who think they have a stake in your dating choices. You won’t believe the amount of hate random strangers minding their own business get for having a partner who is:
a.) of a (noticeably) different race/class/religion
b.) of the same sex
c.) who is not the person the observer wants it to be.
8.) Generally doing things that don’t affect other people.
The other day, someone scornfully called me “overly paranoid” for locking both the security lock and door lock on my front door, rather than just one. Since when was it a crime to be paranoid and not want to get robbed?
A lot of people also seem to hate vegans, vegetarians, people who recycle, and people who do yoga. Be careful – you can also be hated for liking/not liking certain types of music, feeding store-bought cupcakes to your kids, being a redhead, being a millennial, and minding your own business.
In other words, some people give too many F’s. My takeaways: always strive to be considerate, but don’t stop being awesome. Don’t forget to post pictures of your awesome life on Facebook. Haterzzz…(you know how the rest goes.)
(Edit: Added 2 more.)